10 Ways To Annoy People

(these are observations, not a personal playbook)

1) Engage their hazard lights periodically while riding in their car.
2) When dining out, pick your plate up and sniff it loudly and for an uncomfortably long time in front of the wait staff.
3) Paper clip three of four corners on every document you handle.
4) Try to finish every sentence that they say as they're saying it. If you don't know what they're going to say just mumble made up words and repeat them. Smile and nod while doing so.
5) Do push-ups, crunches, or jumping jacks in the elevator. If anyone comments simply state that you're committed to a healthy lifestyle.
6) While engaged in conversation, stare at the other person's eyebrows.
7) Talk with a foreign accent for longer than 3 minutes.
8) Make up a person that the two of you supposedly know. Constantly reference that person even after they confess no knowledge of him/her.
9) In any setting that is not a rural farm, chew on a long piece of straw.
10) Unlock your door, enter the vehicle, and shut your door before unlocking any of the others.