The ocean is a giant natural amplifier, of itself and of existence. I used to love the ocean, and I used to live there. When I moved back inland I felt empty without it. Something about the broadness of that vast expanse of water made me feel like my cares were really just rolling on the whitecaps and vanishing with them under a blanket of light green foam. I miss the ocean.
My parents took us there in the summers. We never went to Disney World or anything like that, but we didn't mind. As a kid, it's really neat how those beach towns are set up, everything for the visitors all laid out in a ribbon on the sand. Shops with neon signs and cheap trinkets, things we didn't have at home - and the dunes. Seeing the first flames of that vast blue bright expanse flicker over the tops of the dunes set my heart to stirring. Eventually, I went to Disney World. I never felt that there.
As a young man I lived on an island in the summers. In the mornings I felt as if I could stretch and see the sea, but even if I didn't I knew it was there, all up in the air. Low tide smells like garbage ketchup but I don't mind, thats an exception. Walking to the point - everyone should do that. At the end of an island you know where a great many things begin and end. It is a unique calling card of the Alpha and Omega.
I love the ocean, and I miss it. It never writes me anymore.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Buddy Cop
Creativity must be very similar to extra money at the end of them month. I always want it and always spend the energy for it on something else.
Rather than whine about it I guess I should just make a really concerted effort at something creative on here tonight before I go to bed. Be warned: this may not be pretty.
-------------------------------------------
Once upon a time there was a boy named Harland. Harland grew up in the dirty south saying dirty words to his typically unbathed and thus dirty friends. He was a fan of classic rock and smiled a lot at pretty girls, but they usually didn't smile back. Harland was a good friend. He was such a good friend, in fact, that he easily fit in with lots of different types of people. He told jokes and people would laugh and ask him to tell the same ones over and over. This continued throughout his adolescence until one day, Harland realized he was kind of popular. Not so popular that anyone disliked him for it, but popular enough that he easily won his senior class presidency and was voted "most likely to succeed" by his classmates. At graduation he also spoke to his class as Salutatorian, because he was also quite smart, much to his own surprise. In that speech he famously quoted John Adams as a warning to his classmates on the importance of their political involvement:
North and South Carolina were almost completely unaffected by nuclear fallout, as well as most of southern Georgia. Harland had an uncle who lived in Charlston that collected guns and knew a thing or two about survival. His unofficially official redneck father packed the family up in a van and took them there in late June, when the rioting and looting became open murder in the streets. Survival, he was told, came only in good provisions and an even better defense of them.
When they got to Charleston they discovered one of the many militaristic coups had taken control of the city. With no way around and no method of getting a message to their family on the inside, they turned back north and, on a tip, tried their luck in Raleigh. Arriving on the fumes of what would be their last tank of gas on July 4th, they found a makeshift police force held together by a ragtag group of state senators and house members. The once-proud governor had gone west some time before, leaving the mayor as the only figurehead to the city's nearly half-million refugees.
Harland slept in the van for the first few nights in Raleigh. On the fourth day his little sister was taken and he spent a week in the madness of the streets looking for her before conceding that she would not be found. His father refused to give up and pressing on, left he and his mother alone. Some months later, a man traveling from Forsythe said he had met their father and took him for mad. In the end, the madness and grief finally did take him. They would never hear from him.
Life itself would never again be easy, but luckily, Harland knew this and managed well in the years that followed. He kept his mother safe and worked to organize a community of like-minded folks who wanted to protect their families from the lawlessness of the new age while inventing a new, sustainable way of urban life. The town itself began to look much different. Folks on horseback became a common sight and the filth they left in the streets made some parts of town unbearable. When he had obtained his own horse, Harland would make raids on the public library downtown from time to time and bring back volume after volume on civil governance and organization, history, agriculture, and the natural sciences. More and more people left Raleigh for the west, but those who stayed found there to be plenty of open land within the city limits to grow food and meet the needs of their new communities.
News came from other parts of the country and world came in fits and starts, but no one knew if any of it was true. No other country in North or South America had survived the global economic collapse. The Northern US was a barren wasteland, along with most of the great lakes region. What was left of the west coast had been completely given-up to the newfound savagery of its former citizens. Texas and a good portion of the mid-west were controlled by three powerful and influential families, none of whom cared for the others to any particular degree. Some said that the Union still existed in North or South Dakota and rumors even circulated that the U.S. president still lived there, though if that were true he had certainly been striped of all effective influence.
Within four years, Harland's community was the clearly predominant organization in the city and, perhaps, in what was left of North America. Over 100,000 now lived in relative peace in Raleigh, which by most estimates was at least 6 percent of all souls still living after the initial attack and the years that followed. Where older men had relied on outdated wisdom, the pluck, cunning, and luck enjoyed by Harland gave him a leg-up as a leader. His eloquence as a speaker saw him gain favor in the sight of the remaining local officials and public-at-large. He was named deputy president of the City of Oaks community at the age of 23 and became heavily involved in the drafting of new documents that many believed would birth a new nation. A short time later, he would once again stand on a stage in front of his new peers and deliver a speech.
His vision, the vision of the people, would be set into motion the following day, his 26th birthday, when he was inaugurated as President-in-chief of The Republic of the New South.
Rather than whine about it I guess I should just make a really concerted effort at something creative on here tonight before I go to bed. Be warned: this may not be pretty.
-------------------------------------------
Once upon a time there was a boy named Harland. Harland grew up in the dirty south saying dirty words to his typically unbathed and thus dirty friends. He was a fan of classic rock and smiled a lot at pretty girls, but they usually didn't smile back. Harland was a good friend. He was such a good friend, in fact, that he easily fit in with lots of different types of people. He told jokes and people would laugh and ask him to tell the same ones over and over. This continued throughout his adolescence until one day, Harland realized he was kind of popular. Not so popular that anyone disliked him for it, but popular enough that he easily won his senior class presidency and was voted "most likely to succeed" by his classmates. At graduation he also spoke to his class as Salutatorian, because he was also quite smart, much to his own surprise. In that speech he famously quoted John Adams as a warning to his classmates on the importance of their political involvement:
"Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide."Five days after his graduation he, along with most of his classmates , would witness the end of their country in a nuclear holocaust. The cause of the war was subject to the person you asked. Some said the US finally had its hands in too many honey pots. Whatever the case, when every major military installment and metropolitan center fell on the 5th of June, all hell broke loose.
North and South Carolina were almost completely unaffected by nuclear fallout, as well as most of southern Georgia. Harland had an uncle who lived in Charlston that collected guns and knew a thing or two about survival. His unofficially official redneck father packed the family up in a van and took them there in late June, when the rioting and looting became open murder in the streets. Survival, he was told, came only in good provisions and an even better defense of them.
When they got to Charleston they discovered one of the many militaristic coups had taken control of the city. With no way around and no method of getting a message to their family on the inside, they turned back north and, on a tip, tried their luck in Raleigh. Arriving on the fumes of what would be their last tank of gas on July 4th, they found a makeshift police force held together by a ragtag group of state senators and house members. The once-proud governor had gone west some time before, leaving the mayor as the only figurehead to the city's nearly half-million refugees.
Harland slept in the van for the first few nights in Raleigh. On the fourth day his little sister was taken and he spent a week in the madness of the streets looking for her before conceding that she would not be found. His father refused to give up and pressing on, left he and his mother alone. Some months later, a man traveling from Forsythe said he had met their father and took him for mad. In the end, the madness and grief finally did take him. They would never hear from him.
Life itself would never again be easy, but luckily, Harland knew this and managed well in the years that followed. He kept his mother safe and worked to organize a community of like-minded folks who wanted to protect their families from the lawlessness of the new age while inventing a new, sustainable way of urban life. The town itself began to look much different. Folks on horseback became a common sight and the filth they left in the streets made some parts of town unbearable. When he had obtained his own horse, Harland would make raids on the public library downtown from time to time and bring back volume after volume on civil governance and organization, history, agriculture, and the natural sciences. More and more people left Raleigh for the west, but those who stayed found there to be plenty of open land within the city limits to grow food and meet the needs of their new communities.
News came from other parts of the country and world came in fits and starts, but no one knew if any of it was true. No other country in North or South America had survived the global economic collapse. The Northern US was a barren wasteland, along with most of the great lakes region. What was left of the west coast had been completely given-up to the newfound savagery of its former citizens. Texas and a good portion of the mid-west were controlled by three powerful and influential families, none of whom cared for the others to any particular degree. Some said that the Union still existed in North or South Dakota and rumors even circulated that the U.S. president still lived there, though if that were true he had certainly been striped of all effective influence.
Within four years, Harland's community was the clearly predominant organization in the city and, perhaps, in what was left of North America. Over 100,000 now lived in relative peace in Raleigh, which by most estimates was at least 6 percent of all souls still living after the initial attack and the years that followed. Where older men had relied on outdated wisdom, the pluck, cunning, and luck enjoyed by Harland gave him a leg-up as a leader. His eloquence as a speaker saw him gain favor in the sight of the remaining local officials and public-at-large. He was named deputy president of the City of Oaks community at the age of 23 and became heavily involved in the drafting of new documents that many believed would birth a new nation. A short time later, he would once again stand on a stage in front of his new peers and deliver a speech.
"No soul here wishes more than I that the union we once enjoyed under one flag in this land could live on, but truthfully it must not. It has become an unlikely burden that we can not, in our present condition, bear. As such, we have arrived at a sobering yet altogether magnificent moment. It is a moment of great anxiety but one of great hope; a moment of necessity yet one also demanding so much of its participants. This path will not lead to peace on Earth but it will lead to civility, the reestablishment of personal rights, and yes, another mighty and complete rebirth of freedom."
His vision, the vision of the people, would be set into motion the following day, his 26th birthday, when he was inaugurated as President-in-chief of The Republic of the New South.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Looking Backward for Security
Thoughts on Young Love
I am but three months away from the commencement of my twenty-fifth year. The quarter-century mark is not only a milestone in the sense that we admit that we've lived over 25% of our lives, but also a milestone in new beginnings as a new season of life sweeps over and carries us forward. In short, people just change and no one is an exception.
Some of these changes are sad ones, like the realization that Santa won't be coming to see you, that your labor is not guaranteed or likely to be your own, and that unlimited slices of pizza are a thing of the past. Others are fun, like taking responsibility, freedom of travel, and intellectual maturity. Most of them, I've found, are just incidental and merely interesting to note. Puppy love is one of those things. Below I've listed ten thoughts on young love as it was (past-tense) in my experience. Perhaps you have some thoughts of your own.
1) A girlfriend's arch nemesis is a video game.
2) Your first true love is like a can of Altoids. Intense and so refreshing that you think nothing can stop it. Then, very suddenly you find yourself with an empty tin and a sheet of tissue paper that vividly describes the now-missing product. Eventually you put quarters and dimes in the tin to make it somehow useful and carry on as usual.
3) No matter how much you think you can make it work, you probably just can't make it work. Trying to fall in love with someone at 19 is like trying to fit a square peg into a triangle hole. The more you try the more beat-up both get. Wait for the triangle peg. Wherever the heck it is...
4) Remember that first kiss? That was nice. Unless, of course, it was just awkward. Often this is the case.
5) Getting to know new girls is fun (and for a while it is super fun). Eventually, getting to know one even more than any of the rest seems like a better idea.
6) Girls from north-eastern NC are trouble. Ok, maybe that's just my experience. (I'm mostly kidding).
7) Girls giggle a lot. This is incredibly attractive to 19 year old men. It is intolerable to most 21 year old men. I'm not sure what triggers the change.
8) Our sense of smell has the strongest power to conjure memory recall. If you don't want to remember a girl, avoid taking note of her perfume.
9) "I love you," in youth, is as easy to say as "I like mustard better than mayonnaise" or "Bunnies have fuzzy ears."
10) A song that has meaning to two young smittin' folks get's 1/4 of it's meaning from the lyrics and 3/4 from something that really, in hindsight, wasn't that profound.
I am but three months away from the commencement of my twenty-fifth year. The quarter-century mark is not only a milestone in the sense that we admit that we've lived over 25% of our lives, but also a milestone in new beginnings as a new season of life sweeps over and carries us forward. In short, people just change and no one is an exception.
Some of these changes are sad ones, like the realization that Santa won't be coming to see you, that your labor is not guaranteed or likely to be your own, and that unlimited slices of pizza are a thing of the past. Others are fun, like taking responsibility, freedom of travel, and intellectual maturity. Most of them, I've found, are just incidental and merely interesting to note. Puppy love is one of those things. Below I've listed ten thoughts on young love as it was (past-tense) in my experience. Perhaps you have some thoughts of your own.
1) A girlfriend's arch nemesis is a video game.
2) Your first true love is like a can of Altoids. Intense and so refreshing that you think nothing can stop it. Then, very suddenly you find yourself with an empty tin and a sheet of tissue paper that vividly describes the now-missing product. Eventually you put quarters and dimes in the tin to make it somehow useful and carry on as usual.
3) No matter how much you think you can make it work, you probably just can't make it work. Trying to fall in love with someone at 19 is like trying to fit a square peg into a triangle hole. The more you try the more beat-up both get. Wait for the triangle peg. Wherever the heck it is...
4) Remember that first kiss? That was nice. Unless, of course, it was just awkward. Often this is the case.
5) Getting to know new girls is fun (and for a while it is super fun). Eventually, getting to know one even more than any of the rest seems like a better idea.
6) Girls from north-eastern NC are trouble. Ok, maybe that's just my experience. (I'm mostly kidding).
7) Girls giggle a lot. This is incredibly attractive to 19 year old men. It is intolerable to most 21 year old men. I'm not sure what triggers the change.
8) Our sense of smell has the strongest power to conjure memory recall. If you don't want to remember a girl, avoid taking note of her perfume.
9) "I love you," in youth, is as easy to say as "I like mustard better than mayonnaise" or "Bunnies have fuzzy ears."
10) A song that has meaning to two young smittin' folks get's 1/4 of it's meaning from the lyrics and 3/4 from something that really, in hindsight, wasn't that profound.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Power-assist Arm
Oh, Dear Blog,
One day I looked in the mirror and thought, "you're kind of a skinny little sucker, you should work out." That was over seven weeks ago and happily, I have been working out regularly ever since. Funny thing is, I'm still a skinny sucker. Some people are just not ever intended to be big and muscular, I don't think. Then there are people like me that just never lift heavy things -- but when they do they get places.
"A sure-fire solution," I thought, "is to just start lifting some heavy things." In light of this I started lifting heavy things even when I'm not working out.
This is all well and good until you realize that lifting heavy things out of context really has a capacity to make you look indefensibly crazy. There is no good excuse for someone walking in to find you holding a chair over your head in one arm or repeatedly lifting a guitar amp in the corner. You just don't say anything. Then you brush your teeth and go to bed.
One day I looked in the mirror and thought, "you're kind of a skinny little sucker, you should work out." That was over seven weeks ago and happily, I have been working out regularly ever since. Funny thing is, I'm still a skinny sucker. Some people are just not ever intended to be big and muscular, I don't think. Then there are people like me that just never lift heavy things -- but when they do they get places.
"A sure-fire solution," I thought, "is to just start lifting some heavy things." In light of this I started lifting heavy things even when I'm not working out.
This is all well and good until you realize that lifting heavy things out of context really has a capacity to make you look indefensibly crazy. There is no good excuse for someone walking in to find you holding a chair over your head in one arm or repeatedly lifting a guitar amp in the corner. You just don't say anything. Then you brush your teeth and go to bed.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Evergreen State
North Carolina glazed over like a honeybun yesterday. No, not with delicious insect by-product, just with regular old winter weather. On my way to work at 7AM I experienced "PT Cruiser on Ice, the Spectacular." There is nothing like skidding down a hill in Raleigh, avoiding other wrecked cars to get your senses buzzing early on. Also I fell on the ice and hurt my hip. All of this has led me swiftly to the conclusion that I am "over" winter. Spring is officially on notice to hurry up and get here.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
10 Ways To Annoy People
(these are observations, not a personal playbook)
1) Engage their hazard lights periodically while riding in their car.
2) When dining out, pick your plate up and sniff it loudly and for an uncomfortably long time in front of the wait staff.
3) Paper clip three of four corners on every document you handle.
4) Try to finish every sentence that they say as they're saying it. If you don't know what they're going to say just mumble made up words and repeat them. Smile and nod while doing so.
5) Do push-ups, crunches, or jumping jacks in the elevator. If anyone comments simply state that you're committed to a healthy lifestyle.
6) While engaged in conversation, stare at the other person's eyebrows.
7) Talk with a foreign accent for longer than 3 minutes.
8) Make up a person that the two of you supposedly know. Constantly reference that person even after they confess no knowledge of him/her.
9) In any setting that is not a rural farm, chew on a long piece of straw.
10) Unlock your door, enter the vehicle, and shut your door before unlocking any of the others.
1) Engage their hazard lights periodically while riding in their car.
2) When dining out, pick your plate up and sniff it loudly and for an uncomfortably long time in front of the wait staff.
3) Paper clip three of four corners on every document you handle.
4) Try to finish every sentence that they say as they're saying it. If you don't know what they're going to say just mumble made up words and repeat them. Smile and nod while doing so.
5) Do push-ups, crunches, or jumping jacks in the elevator. If anyone comments simply state that you're committed to a healthy lifestyle.
6) While engaged in conversation, stare at the other person's eyebrows.
7) Talk with a foreign accent for longer than 3 minutes.
8) Make up a person that the two of you supposedly know. Constantly reference that person even after they confess no knowledge of him/her.
9) In any setting that is not a rural farm, chew on a long piece of straw.
10) Unlock your door, enter the vehicle, and shut your door before unlocking any of the others.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Cashew Joy
This is one of those days where I just start typing and see what happens, so watch out. It's kind of like how I talk. I have several options for what I could say, but the first one that comes out is usually the one that is most clearly a poor choice in hindsight. At least in writing I can go back and erase the awkwardness that doesn't serve my purpose.
In small talk at work it's the worst. I am one of those poor misguided saps that has an internal dialogue going on in my head at all times. It's like an announcer at a hotdog eating contest, only my life is about 90% less interesting than a hotdog eating contest. So I'm giving the play-by-play on scratching my nose and what shade of blue on jeans says "Hey, I'm a fun guy, look how blue these jeans are" when someone comes up and says,
"Sloan, hows it going?"
Suddenly torn from my wonderland, I respond with:
"There's a good one today!"
This is accompanied always with a big cheesy smile and direct eye contact. Someone told me once that smiling and making eye contact helps make up for always saying stupid things. I think they are wrong. I think it just makes people look at me like I'm an immigrant or something -- theres a flush of confusion followed immediately by this little hint of sympathy.
"Oh, he's adjusting to a new culture."
On the worst of these occasions there was a guy named Jon that I kind of knew through friends of friends, you know, we had talked before. A couple of guys went with me to Walmart and walking down the isle and I spot this guy from 15 feet away. Dead collision course, we both see each other, but I am not at all prepared to greet him.
"Hey, what's up?" Jon asks.
"COOL!" I loudly respond.
I catch that look of complete loss as we pass and I don't look back. We make it another 10 steps in silence before one of the guys next to me finally says, "Did you just say, 'cool' to that guy?"
Yes. Yes I did.
In small talk at work it's the worst. I am one of those poor misguided saps that has an internal dialogue going on in my head at all times. It's like an announcer at a hotdog eating contest, only my life is about 90% less interesting than a hotdog eating contest. So I'm giving the play-by-play on scratching my nose and what shade of blue on jeans says "Hey, I'm a fun guy, look how blue these jeans are" when someone comes up and says,
"Sloan, hows it going?"
Suddenly torn from my wonderland, I respond with:
"There's a good one today!"
This is accompanied always with a big cheesy smile and direct eye contact. Someone told me once that smiling and making eye contact helps make up for always saying stupid things. I think they are wrong. I think it just makes people look at me like I'm an immigrant or something -- theres a flush of confusion followed immediately by this little hint of sympathy.
"Oh, he's adjusting to a new culture."
On the worst of these occasions there was a guy named Jon that I kind of knew through friends of friends, you know, we had talked before. A couple of guys went with me to Walmart and walking down the isle and I spot this guy from 15 feet away. Dead collision course, we both see each other, but I am not at all prepared to greet him.
"Hey, what's up?" Jon asks.
"COOL!" I loudly respond.
I catch that look of complete loss as we pass and I don't look back. We make it another 10 steps in silence before one of the guys next to me finally says, "Did you just say, 'cool' to that guy?"
Yes. Yes I did.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)